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Price Of Gas Rises To Four Expletives Per Gallon

Original Link: http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/price_of_gas_rises_to_four

HOUSTON—Gasoline prices rose to a record-high four expletives per gallon Monday, a rate of fuel-price-related cursing not seen since the 1979 energy crisis sparked a nationwide obscenity boom. “Two years ago it seemed impossible that a gallon of gasoline would go as high as goddamn-shit-ass-balls,” said commodities trader Philip Roan, adding that refined petroleum is up nearly 100 percent from cock-fuck last March. “Considering the unrest in the Middle East and growing global energy demands, fuel prices may well reach dick-ass-Christ-fuck-hell in as little as six months.” The unprecedented jump in swearing rates has reportedly prompted an increase in the number of Americans riding motherfucking bicycles.

why high end triples are going by by

dumb? Kind of makes me wonder who in shimano thought this was a good idea? This train wreck aside, I like my mid range oem shimano triple on my touring bike. Low gears are good for groceries and clothing.  Here’s a lengthy article discussing the demise of the  triple crankset and why compacts are popular.

I like my triple.

saving my ass

This will be my first post on the new trip we’re taking on this blog. Future posts will be mission reports from the exploits of the Extreme Picnicking Club. But this post is about bike porn from my day of laying around. The Japanese arm of Bianchi makes an entire line of small wheel road bikes. Maybe there are enough short Japanese people that they need to make tiny bikes? But take a look at this beauty:

small wheeled bianchi

Craziness. Some sort of victorian midget bike. And it has a big brother:

I have a crush on this bike. Found here.

Some highschool classmates made these stickers:

Give hipsters a brake.

And finally, I suffered in silence from the scourge of a numb package on long rides. Although I now know it can also be caused from stinging insects stinging you in your crotch while you ride, I figured it had something to do with my saddle. Two weeks ago I bought and installed a selle anatomica saddle. The thing rocks. I might have solved my problems with a cheaper saddle with a cutout, but the bike nerd factor wouldn’t have been there. You can even watch someone’s ass making one of saddles flex here.

Slow Ride

slow ride flyer

Hey Everyone,

 The above flier is for a ride that a buddy of mine is putting on on New Year’s Day.  I think that the CRAPers would be interested in joining in on the fun.

The Truth of the Matter

if it’s on the internet, it must be true  the truth   http://www.azcentral.com/php-bin/commphotos/show.php?referer=azcentral&colid=3137&slide_nbr=7&numslides=24&go=1  (edit – the page editor isn’t working on my machine ever. if you want to clean this up, delete this edit and fix the page. yep) 

Fun with the Valley Metro!

so I was waiting for the bus today, very exciting. I was waiting a bit and prefer to read through my math book so I can do it later. The assigned problems were in my macbook, so I had to open it up. Low and behold the bus comes while I’ve got it all out and open. The bus nearly flys by me until I put my hand up to flag him down. I close my macbook and stuff everything in my bag and rush over to the bus. After boarding, I sort through my cards for my bus pass, pretty quickly but whatevs. He says something but I’ve got my shuffle playing in my ears, so I don’t hear it. I smile and nod and sit down. He seems to keep talking to me and I move up the front and take out my earbuds. It seems like he’s lecturing me because he is saying that the reason he’s always late is because people are never ready…They don’t have their 60 cents ready and they have to go looking through their pockets, like they weren’t expecting the bus…this is reasonable, just regular bitching about any job. but I’m mildly wondering if he’s lecturing me…. or they weren’t looking for the bus and were standing the shade away from the stop. uh huh  Apparently he gets behind because he isn’t sure if the person waiting at the stop is getting on his bus, as a single stop may serve several routes. I think this is another jab at me, but I soon find he is just bitching aloud.I went past one stop and saw no one, but apparently a guy ran out of the 7-11 just behind the stop. I didn’t see him but the other riders did, but it was too late at that point. That guy called dispatch though and lied, saying the bus just flew right by the stop where he was waiting. Another time I stopped near the church on Univ because a group of people were sitting near the stop. I opened my door and no one moved so I went on. The people called up dispatch and lied saying I flew right by. Apparently there was also this blind guy, but blind people are supposed to be standing in front of the stop so we knew. He wasn’t standing in front of the stop.See, some people like to play these games, they just play these games with me all the time.This was when I was beginning to get suspicious. Maybe he is out of his mind, or maybe he lost his old job and is losing his mind because he hates this one. That’s when he started talking about KITT.Have you ever seen this show? It’s called Knightrider and it has this car called KITT and the car talks and thinksHe remember KITT, but seemed to not notice that it was Hasselhoff in the lead acting role, so I let that go.It can do all kinds of things, but it also has a scanner on it. That’s what I need, a scanner. So that my bus can scan in the next quarter-mile looking for riders. I wouldn’t miss anybody then.He laughed heartily at this and I took the opportunity to hide my feelings by laughing. I also tried to hide my nervous laughter by laughing loudly. He didn’t seem to notice me and I wondered whether he talks like this even when someone isn’t sitting in the seat nearest him. I also recalled the sign I saw that said “it’s against the law to have unnecessary conversations with the driver” and thinking at the time what a smart idea that was, and noticed the lack of that sign on this bus. This car is really great. Like when the guy needs to get lowered down over a cliff, he just grabs the tow rope and tells the car when to lower him and when to raise him. This car is _really_ smart. That would be really useful to have a car like that, because it has a lot of cool things on it, a lot of neat gadgets. I bet that car is really valuableOh my. But that’s not an actual computerit’s just a voiceover. It can’t think. oh god I can feel these words screaming inside of my head. Fear stops me from voicing them. Yeah, you know I think I read they had like 4 or 5 of them, and one sold for hundreds of thousands last year.  *almost like I didn’t say anything*  yeah, I bet they are really valuable because it had a lot of really cool things on it. I think the part where it was able to jump over cars from the ground though, I think that was maybe, you know…”yeah, like a visual trick? I hesitated because I was worried about laughing or breaking his illusion. also, still afraid.yeah, but thats ok I think. The Batmobile too, that car had a lot of stuff on it, really useful stuff. I bet they are really valuable.I pretty much stopped engaging him at this point.In appearance, he seemed so normal. That’s what gives me the most reason to fear what will happen with my parents as they age, that they’ll fall into a delusional world that seems too real. Traditionally in movies, crazy people have crazy hair and wear disheveled clothes. This guy was pretty crazy, looked like perfectly normal, the same age as my dad 10 years ago and was driving public transit. god bless america